


Maybe, in Another Lifetime

by Phoenix_Soar



Category: Shinhwa
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 21:03:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3869707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_Soar/pseuds/Phoenix_Soar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Maybe, in another lifetime, I will find you again."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe, in Another Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> A fic inspired by a beautiful story a dear friend of mine wrote (for another fandom) about soul mates that are connected over several lifetimes.
> 
> Written in 2013, and originally posted @ AFF

_Maybe, in another lifetime, I will find you._

 

People dream of what it must be like to have a soul mate. A person, somewhere out there in the world, made just for you - the one that you are destined to be with, who completes the missing part of your soul and fills the emptiness in your heart that no one else can. In every lifetime, in every birth, it is that person who is your other half. Even the most "realistic" person has entertained this thought, no matter how briefly, because it is a curious idea to ponder over. 

 

Most people associate the idea of having soul mates with endless bliss; the perfect happy-ever-after. In their minds, one will be left wanting for none once they are united with their significant other. For them, it is their biggest dream in life, the ultimate doors to unending happiness.

 

Most people do not realise how wrong they are. 

 

Junjin does, though. He knows because he remembers every lifetime he has ever lived, every new birth, and every death he has ever died. Very few people do. They are the ones that have been fortunate enough to meet their destined soul mates, at least in one of their lifetimes. 

 

The moment you meet your soul mate, you simply know that they are the one meant to be yours for eternity, like some divine message from heaven that settles in your heart. And once you do, you slowly become aware of all the previous lives you have lived and the lifetimes yet to come, the deaths you have died and the reincarnations waiting to happen. You will realise that in all these lifetimes, your soul mate standing in front of you is the one you must seek. Because once you feel the sense of pure  _completion_  that only your soul mate can give you, you realise that no one else can replace them; it has to be that person, in every lifetime. They belong to you and you belong to them. 

 

And this is where Junjin knows that the rest of the world, which believe in having soul mates as the ultimate happiness, are wrong. So wrong. Because not every one can find their soul mates; in fact, most people never do, and they live their lifetimes neither remembering their previous lives nor knowing the cause of the emptiness they feel in their hearts. They can never know. 

 

As for the small handful of people who have been lucky enough to find their soul mates and remember all their lifetimes ... well, there are no guarantees for them that they can find their destined ones again. Happening across your soul mate is a rare chance - cruelly so - and the people who have found them once spend the rest of their lifetimes desperately looking for them again, searching for the person that can fill the voids in their hearts. Few can ever find them again. It is a wicked game Life plays with them.

 

Junjin has been completely happy in only one lifetime - the lifetime in which he met the love of his life. In all the lifetimes before that, he has never met that person, and in all the lifetimes following, he has never met them again - and it is torture. With every birth and every death, his sense of utter incompletion increases, like a burden on his heart that grows steadily heavier. He can find no true happiness in other companions; they do not complete him. And yet the lifetimes he has spent desperately searching for that person have yielded no results. He has died alone and incomplete, with an empty heart, each time - and with every rebirth, his despair has increased. He spends his days wondering if he can ever find his destined one again, but try as he might, he has failed.

 

And that is agony in its truest form. To remember every life you have ever lived and knowing the soul you are meant to be with forever, but never finding them again and living on and on as an incomplete person with an empty heart - that is the purest agony one can ever face. It is the fate that those who meet their soul mates, even just once, must face for the rest of their lifetimes. There is no going back and no forgetting.

 

So, you see, having a soul mate -  _finding_  your soul mate - is not the happy sparkly illusion most people see. It guarantees you one lifetime of pure bliss, but an eternity of pain if you're unlucky in the lifetimes that follow. And chances are ... you will be damn unlucky. 

 

And so again, in this newest lifetime where he has been born as Park Junjin, he stuffs his hands in his pockets and walk along the snow covered pavement, his heart emptier than before. The winter cold settles in and he feels the chill even more deeply for being left alone again, with no one by his side to hold his hand and warm him. As he walks, snow crunching underfoot, he sadly wonders where his destined one is, under what name that person has been born this time, and if they were feeling the hollowness of their heart as vividly as Junjin himself.

 

~***~

 

Far away, on the other side of the city, a young man settles on a park bench and looks up at the overcast night sky. It will snow again tonight. 

 

He pulls his coat tighter against the cold of the night and wonders if  _that person_  is in a warmer, happier place. The person  he has met just once, in a lifetime so long ago he has lost count of how many rebirths have followed it, and the one he has never been able to find again.

 

The person who is the reason for the gaping void in his heart that has never healed.

 

Andy Lee looks up at the sky and sighs sadly. 'I wish you were here...'

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what I want to do with this little fic. Leave it as a one shot, make it a collection of one shots set in this universe, or make it a multi chapter fic. 
> 
> No. Idea. We'll see where inspiration takes me.


End file.
